It's been a rough two and half months. Adjusting to life away from home and a new school has not been easy for fun for me. Everything isn't awful though; I have some new friends that are amazing, encouraging, and tons of fun. I've also realized the amazing friends God has given me who aren't in Chapel Hill with me; friends in PA, Cali, Florida, Atlanta... I am blessed.
At the end of this week, I was hit by the truth of something I've heard over and over again: I don't have to get my crap together before I trust in God and live my life in His power. My job is to obey Him; He promises to give me a new heart and make me a new creation. Philippians 1:6 says, "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I'm not responsible for getting my life together. God chose to redeem a broken and sinful people, and to use those people to expand His kingdom.
Over the past two and a half months, since I've gotten to school, I've been trying to get my life together before doing what God wants me to do here. I've forgotten that I can't fix myself, I am not powerful enough to get my life together. Look at it this way: the little, red monkeys are the parts of my life that are sinful, broken, and need to be redeemed, and the redeeming of these things is putting them in the barrel. My life is like a barrel of monkeys poured out all over the floor, and I have no power to put them back into the barrel. God my Father is putting them in the barrel for me because He is gracious, not because of anything I've done. My God is redeeming me because His plan for this world is to bring everything back under His dominion.
So... upon freshly realizing that I have no power to better myself, I rely again upon God and His promises. And I strive to obey Him, and to love well the people around me so that through me they will see my God.
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